I thought I was normal for a good 40 years then suddenly I was told I was not.
I was told I had severe anxiety but to me this was normal, I knew nothing different and thought this was how to do life.
What did I know?
I remember watching a video on YouTube with the title "Anxiety Attack Caught On Video" I watched and was underwhelmed, I was left asking what's out of the ordinary here?
It was not until I had a fullscale mental breakdown that I was assessed and properly diagnosed with severe anxiety and mild depression.
I have since been taught coping methods that are helping me to calm my head down and stop it get ahead of its self but it is a constant struggle to overcome what I thought was normal for so many years and accept this new way of doing things.
I find it so strange being able to think and not struggle to do so before it was like my head would run out of space like a computer's hard drive and could not process any more.
I still have good days and bad days but the struggle will continue until I have mastered how to do this relaxed chilled out way of life.
Obviously, I have missed out some of the details but what I will say is don't allow yourself, dare I say to get anxious about being anxious. I'm not going to go as far as asking you to be proud of yourself but at least accept yourself for what you are.
Once you accept yourself you can then push your boundaries slightly each day. The more you do this the quicker you will find you can cope with more and more.
No, this practice is not going to cure you but it has certainly helped me.
We have bees living in the fabric of our house, as long as they don't damage anything or become a nuisance I'm fine with that being a Mancunian and all.
This is one of our guests about to knock on the front door.
It appears that the mortar between two bricks has dropped out and this is plenty big enough for them to use as a door and I've seen all sizes of bees going in and out at frequent intervals.
I want to make sure they are healthy and thrive as much as possible so if anyone knows what variety of bee these are id appreciate it if you let me know so I can ensure there stay with us is of a 5-star accommodation level.
I know to leave them well alone and let bees be bees but if I can put anything like food IE plants they like, near the entrance to the hive I will do as these guys are so important to us and our survival.
I put my phone onto burst mode and before I knew it I had taken in excess of 1500 photos, I have tried to go through them and I'm now down to around 200 but some of these need removing as they are similar or simply do not show our guests. If you would like to see all of them they are HERE.